My own worst enemy

"First, I would tell you that you are awesome! You have willingly chosen to do something that will probably cause you to lose a little blood, gain a few scars, and be cooler than a lot of other people in the world. Also know that there are more women out there who want to see you succeed and fall in love with this sport than you can believe. We’re here to support and encourage you."

 

'I did okay.'

That's my usual response when people ask how my latest race went. I often find I downplay my efforts and performance instead of being proud of what I accomplished. It is no secret that I am uber competitive in almost everything I do.

I started mountain bike racing this summer and it has brought a lot of challenge, accomplishment and crashes to my world. Thursday nights are a great opportunity to get out and try racing at Buck Hill. There is a category for any skill level and all ages. My first attempt to race was on my single speed fat bike, which is bulky and heavy! I went out for a practice lap before the race and knew I was going to be tired by the end of it.

Fat Alice is ready to race!

The start of the race brings you from the bottom of Buck Hill and uses switchback trails to lead you a good portion of the way to the top. You then head into the woods for a little singletrack riding before climbing another big hill and more singletrack. Halfway up the first climb I didn't think I was going to be able to finish. Getting into the second section of singletrack and finding my groove made things easier and I committed to finishing the three loops of the race no matter how long it took me. A little over halfway through my first lap, my chain fell off, and resulted in me losing slight control over my handlebars, and hitting my knee really hard. I stopped and put my chain back on, got back on the bike and took a few pedal strokes only to experience terrible pain. I was hopeful the pain in my knee would calm down once I started riding again. I took a few more pedal strokes around the next corner and all of a sudden my chain snapped! I pulled off to the side and looked back on the trail to see my chain laying there like a snake. Now what was I supposed to do??? I was mad because I couldn't fix this while I was out there and my knee was really sore!

I managed to find my way out of the woods and coasted my chainless bike down the road into the parking lot. At this point I realized I wasn't going to finish the race, which was a really hard pill to swallow because this had never happened to me before. I honestly think about quitting races all the time in the middle of them when I'm feeling tired and defeated, but somehow manage to pull through. Not finishing left me feeling mad, disappointed and discouraged.

 First DNF :(

My next race was my first in the Minnesota Mountain Bike Series (MNMBS) at Mt Kato in Mankato. Basically another ski hill to climb. I raced in the 'sport' category, which is one step up from the beginner class of 'citizen'. I finished middle of the pack with the other women I raced and ended up winning my age group! Not too shabby for my first time out there.

 Teammates are awesome! #hubbabes

Over the next few weeks I have raced my mountain bike, not fat bike, at Buck Hill and finished each time! I've actually grabbed two 3rd place finishes and each week it seems to get a little better!

On our way for a weekend getaway!

This past Sunday was my second race of the MNMBS. It was in Duluth at Mission Creek and I made the decision to race in the 'elite' category. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into and was extremely nervous to think about riding with the top women! My concerns were also about my struggle to eat and drink while mountain biking and I wasn't sure how I would manage to do both of those during the 24 mile race. At this point I have also never rode 24 mountain bike miles without stopping. Sure I can do 100 miles on gravel/roads, but this is so different!

Friday and Saturday before the race were spent hanging out in Duluth with new friends! As a life long Minnesotan I am still not sure how I have never spent a weekend in Duluth. It was really fun, and awesome to be with other racers to pick their brains about strategy and techniques.

We were lucky enough to see two ships this day!

On race day the sky was gloomy and there was talk of it being cancelled due to rain. The sky cleared up as the start got closer and we were on as scheduled. I was my usual pre-race bundle of nerves and before I knew it we were off the start line!

The long slow climb up the paved road at the start was brutal! My legs already felt tired and the temperature and humidity were starting to rise. Once we got to the trail in the woods things got better. I spent the first lap trying to find my flow on the bike and being a little cautious. I've never rode at Mission Creek before so I wanted to make sure nothing caught me too off guard and rumor before the race was the bridges were slippery. I was nearing the end of the first lap when I crashed on one of the bridges. I am still not sure how I did it, but I feel like I just wasn't focused and rode right off of it! Hahaha! I still have to laugh about it a little. I got up quickly and kept going to finish the first lap.

The second lap involved the same long hill climb, but this time my legs felt warmed up so it didn't seem as bad. I also felt faster on the trail because I knew there wasn't anything I couldn't handle! Finishing the second and onto the third lap I somehow saved myself from a terrible crash due to late communication with another rider. I am not sure exactly what happened, but am so thankful I didn't go down!

The third climb up the long hill was once again painful. I was starting to feel really tired and I still had 8 miles to go. I managed to shove 4 shot blocks in my mouth along with some water before getting back on the trail. The last lap felt slow and the tiny climbs in the woods were almost too much. I didn't see any other women racers ahead or behind me, but that didn't mean I couldn't catch them, or they me, so I tried to keep a steady pace. Nearing the end of the lap there is a downhill, corner section of patio pavers in the trail we had to ride each time. They were super slippery and sketchy to navigate down. A rider behind me was so encouraging as I yelled back to him 'Sorry I'm so slow!' He replied 'It's okay' and then provided me with some guidance to safely get down. I was wishing he would have been there for the previous two laps! I was so close to the finish, with one left turn to make before exiting the woods, when my back tire slid out as I cornered, and I fell for the second time. Damn it!!! I was so close to being done! I got up feeling embarrassed and biked through the last turn to cross the finish line.

It was amazing coming in to the finish and having people cheer for you!! The guy that helped me during the paver section was even waiting to say good job to me :) I took 8th place out of 11 and finished in 2 hours and 9 minutes.

When asked how the race went I said my usual 'okay' initially and pointed out what didn't go well. After sharing my story with friends over the last few days I have since turned 'okay' into 'good'. I have received so much support and encouragement from people and it has really changed my perspective on things. I am accepting and allowing myself to be a beginner at mountain biking even though I hate to be the newbie or novice. I think of all the times I probably fell down when I learned how to walk. Right now I'm learning a different way to 'walk' and I know with time, practice and patience I will continue to improve and hope to give the badass, elite women a run for their money someday!

 Taking it one day at a time :)

Take Two

If my life was the movie Groundhog Day, then this is where it would all start over.....except it would be so much better!

Spring did arrive quite early and I have been able to stack a fair amount of training miles, including some decent hill rides out to Afton. Most of my riding time has been spent with my teammate, Loretta, and that proved to be so beneficial! If you don't know Loretta, all you need to know is that she is amazing and a badass! She is so strong and kicks my ass all the time, which I know helps make me a stronger rider!

Over Mother's Day weekend I was on schedule for my first century (100 mile ride) of the season, the Fulton Gran Fondo. This year was off to a great start as I completed the ride in under 6 hours. This was something I wasn't sure I could do and I was happy to look back over the ride and determine what went well, and not so well over the 100 mile course. Although I was pleasantly surprised by the Gran Fondo I was feeling overwhelmed with Almanzo looming ahead.

All smiles with Flat Stanley before the Fulton Gran Fondo

I was hoping to spend the week before Almanzo going on easy rides and hitting the yoga studio, but sometimes more important things in life happen and you end up putting minimal efforts towards either. Not knowing how my legs actually felt, or how I would perform being rested, is something I am not used to. I put faith in the previous week's ride, encouragement from friends and the base miles logged during March and April to carry me through the gravel and hills.

On Friday afternoon, Loretta and I set out to Spring Valley, MN for the Almanzo 100. We arrived at the hotel and got settled in before heading to registration. After picking up our race numbers and souvenir t-shirts we had dinner at The Pizza Place (yes, that is the actual name) and headed back to settle in for the night.

6am came way too early and I didn't feel very rested. I made some coffee and headed down to the hotel breakfast only to decide nothing looked good. After a few quick 'hellos' to friends I headed back to the room to eat the breakfast of oatmeal, strawberries, almonds and chia seeds I brought from home. Loretta and I decided to leave for the race around 8:20am so we would have plenty of time before the 9am start.

First breakfast

With less than 15 minutes before we were going to leave, the cloudy sky gave way to sprinkles which quickly turned to a steady mist. My desire to completely bail out on the ride was growing stronger with each raindrop.

 

Loretta's jersey won't be white for long!

 Flat Stanley was with me the whole way!

Luckily, the rain did end up being short lived, and stopped right before we rolled over to the start. Upon our arrival we began to see a lot of familiar faces of our teammates and friends. It was so awesome to see my Hub teammates at the starting line!

Some of the Hub babes before rollout

 Nervous smile before roll out

The race started shortly after 9 and we hit the pavement for a brief distance before making the turn for gravel. The rain had settled the dust on the course, but also created mud on the top layer, which resulted in plenty of muddy faces and butts for everyone that day. After hanging with a large pack for a few miles, Loretta and I made a move to start to get ahead of people. It was a little risky at times, due to the loose gravel we were plowing through, but we did finally get ahead and settled in to a quick pace. As the hills began I slowly started to lose Loretta and was working so hard to catch her on the downhills and flatter sections. When I felt like I couldn't chase her anymore I settled in to a slightly slower pace for a quick rest. I was soon picked up by a large group of riders and caught my relief at the end of the pace line.

I have no recollection of how long I kept riding with this group, or at what point we were no longer together, but I found myself rather solo during the middle section of the race. I skipped the first checkpoint at mile 40 and was hopeful I would not run out of water before the next one at mile 66. I had my fingers crossed that the farm, in between the two checkpoints, with water and a bathroom from last year would be open again for us.

When I passed the closed farm around mile 50, I realized how tired I was getting. Not having a consistent group to ride with was really wearing on me. And it seemed as though everyone was starting to pass me. I kept pedaling even though I felt incredibly slow and had started to question if I could even finish the race. As racers passed me I heard an all too familiar voice call out "Yo!, I'm just gonna sit back here and enjoy the view!" I only know one person with that distinctive of a voice. I laughed and answered back with "What's up, SK?" It was really awesome to see some friendly faces as he, Drew and others passed me.

Continuing on to the next checkpoint in Forestville was the most difficult part of the race. I knew I had enough food and water to get there, but my motivation was lacking and my frustration was starting to get the best of me. It was really muggy during the ride and many times due to wind, or my movements, my ponytail would get stuck to my neck, chest or arm and I would have to peel it off. It became so annoying that I found myself wishing I had a knife so I could just get rid of the damn thing! I was hot, sweaty, dirty, angry and tired!  I attempted to eat, but even that was more effort than I could muster. I knew this wasn't a good sign so instead tried to drink more water. Drinking seemed to help a little and also the thought of 'it's only 10 or so miles to go'.

As I approached Forestville I saw Loretta and my teammate Ben getting ready to leave. She asked "are you stopping?" And without hesitation I replied "no." I knew I was tired, but I also feared that if I got off my bike I wouldn't get back on. The next checkpoint was in Cherry Grove, which was only 10 miles further. I managed to survive those last 10 miles before Forestville so what's 10 more? Loretta pulled ahead of Ben and I quickly as we departed and I found myself wondering how she was staying so strong??? Then I started second guessing the whole 'only 10 miles' thing and if I could make it. But soon I saw a sign in the field for Cherry Grove. I was so relieved I was almost there.

I pulled up to the checkpoint at mile 76, set my bike down and was instantly overwhelmed! My breath became short, and I was tearful, and not sure how I was going to be able to ride the 24+ miles to the finish. I forced myself to take slow, deep breaths and reminded myself that I was okay. I also knew that I did not want to spend a lot of time at the stop so I needed to hustle. The whiskey and beer at the Banjo Brothers tent was flowing and very tempting, but I said no. Instead I opted for an electrolyte drink, a can of coke, ibuprofen and some potato chips. At this point I was actually questioning myself and my decisions ;) I rarely turn down race beers unless I am on the verge of losing my cool. I quickly peed, filled my water and decided to get back on my bike. As I was just about to leave Drew pulled in and asked "how you doing?" I could only shrug my shoulders and not say anything. He then asked "you okay?" I shook my head no and rolled out. Truth is, I felt terrible! I was ready to start sobbing and I was exhausted. My only hope was to somehow find a burst of energy to help carry me through to the finish.

To my surprise I quickly found that energy, and it was strong and powerful! Within a few miles everything had changed for the better. I felt amazing and started pushing hard. I started to think of what I had left to conquer in the race and I was able to turn those into mini markers of accomplishment. The river crossing was not too far after the Banjo Brothers tent and it felt wonderful to walk across in my shoes. I was tempted to even put my whole body in the water to help me cool off.

The next big challenge was Oriole Hill. Last year when I turned the corner and saw Oriole I immediately got off of my bike and walked it. This year I decided to attempt it rather than give up right away. I knew the worst thing that could happen by attempting it is that I would have to get off my bike part way up and walk the rest. I approached the hill and started to make the long, steep, steady climb. Looking down and seeing my speedometer say 3-4mph was definitely not a highlight, but I was getting there. And slowly, but surely I stayed on my bike and made it to the top!!! At the top I remember saying rather loudly "holy shit!" as I was feeling the burn for sure! I now 'only' had 10 more miles of the race to go!

Soon after Oriole Hill is another long, slow steep climb that felt equally as painful to get up and rewarding to get done. I was now on to the final push into the finish. The last 8 or so miles brought with it the headwind that I hadn't missed for most of the race. As a rider passed he offered to work with me through the wind. This worked for a few miles until I realized his pace was more than I could keep. I let him and another rider go and took one final rest. The last few miles passed slowly and I couldn't wait to get off my bike. I looked at the clock and knew that I did not have any time to spare if I was going to finish in under 7 hours. The cue cards (directions) and signs at the end were not super clear and against my better judgement I followed the riders ahead of me therefore missing the turn to the finish. I knew the direction I needed to go, but wasn't quite sure how to get there without backtracking. I finally saw the path to the finish across a grassy field and used it as a shortcut to get back on course. Once I was on the path I picked up the pace and gave one final hustle to the end. It felt amazing to be done! And I was pretty certain I finished in under 7 hours.

As soon as I finished I received a high 5 from Andy and a beer! I'd been waiting all race for a cold beer! I found my Hub teammates and congratulated those who finished ahead of me and waited for those behind me. I spent a few hours hanging out after the race before making the drive back home to soak in the tub and reflect upon my ride. 

So dirty!

And exhausted!

It's been a week since the race and I am still really tired! My official time ended up being 6 hours and 54 minutes! A sub 7 hour gravel century was something I hoped I could accomplish someday, but did not think it would be done at Almanzo. The more I think about my efforts and the ride, the happier I am with it all. Riding the gauntlet of emotions from not wanting to start, wanting to quit, finding strength when I really needed it, reminding myself I was getting paid (I did take vacation time for this), and knowing all along that I was okay, is a very powerful thing. Having another gravel century under my belt makes me incredibly proud, and happy to see that my hard work has yet again payed off! Next up is my revenge of (Westside) Dirty Benjamin!
-

Spring training

Spring has sprung! Sort of. As the snow falls outside and cold temperatures return, I am actually taking a little time to relax and attempt to write down my thoughts from recent weeks.

I managed to continue biking through the winter, although my efforts were mostly geared towards getting out to have beers/burritos/burgers/pizza with friends. But hey, it's better than nothing, right? 

And I can't forget about donuts as big as my face!

At Glam Doll Donuts

 

I did occasionally get out and do a little fat biking now and then, but nothing I would write home about. And no racing happened this winter.

 Photo credit: Mark Woker

One thing that did happen over winter is my yoga practice flourished. There was nothing better on a cold winter day than the warm yoga studio and getting super sweaty! Wanting, and needing, to grow my yoga practice was a big reason biking was on the back burner.

But, with the thaw of our mild winter, and the early arrival of spring, things have turned back into bikes, bikes and more bikes! I have signed my contract to race for The Hub Cycling Team and am really excited for my second season with them! Along with committing to the team, I have signed up for a few races. On the list so far are the Miesville 56, Fulton Gran Fondo, Almanzo 100, Westside Dirty Benjamin (WDB) and Riotgrrravel. Miesville will be brand new to me this year, but I have rode the course before. The other races will be opportunities for me to better my times from last year. It is both exciting and nerve wracking to think about right now, because I feel very unprepared.

One of the best and easiest ways I have started to prepare was to bring my race bikes into the shop for tune-ups. Who knew how difficult it was to ride with an almost seized bottom bracket!?!? Huge "THANK YOU!" to Morgan, at The Hub Bike Co-op, for his fast, friendly, non-judgmental service! And he has been absolutely right that the tune-ups will make me "so fast!" 

I couldn't believe how hard I was unnecessarily working to ride her

On a quick side note, I have to introduce Flat Stanley. 

 Flat Stanley on his first bike ride

He was made for me, by my nephew Zach, to bring out on all my bike adventures. Flat Stanley has made it out on a few rides with me and I am hoping to bring him out more so stay tuned! It makes me so incredibly happy to hear how excited Zach is when he gets an update from Flat Stanley and me!

Alright, back to training. Over the last few weeks I have been able to gradually increase my mileage. It hasn't been super easy, but I know I just need to keep putting the wheels in motion, and get time in on the saddle. The first weekend of March, I was able to do back to back days of riding of 35 and 40 miles. It felt painfully good and my hip flexors and hamstrings have been reawakened. I definitely didn't miss feeling those tight suckers all winter. A few days later involved a rather drawn out day of riding, with many stops, for a total of 60 miles. I reached my number that day, but knew I needed to condense it all down and not take so many breaks.

I finally met my first goal of 60+ miles last week. I headed out towards St Paul with a route idea in mind that would take me all the way back over to St Louis Park before heading home. I took one long break at the Depot Coffee House for a warmup with a latte and delicious oatmeal-strawberry-cherry bar, and I ended my Friday ride with 63 miles. The wind made the ride very challenging, as I could never figure out which way it was coming from, but I am super happy I stuck it out and did it! And I kept telling myself that nothing could be as brutal as the conditions of WDB 2014. 

One thing I have forgotten from last year is how hungry and tired I get at the start of the season as I build my endurance. I am working on taking things easy and getting back into training mode. This means early bedtimes, better nutrition and fewer late nights/social hours than this winter, but I feel ready for it! I'm looking forward to pushing myself this year to see what I can accomplish and I will do my best to share my stories on the blog as they unfold :)